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Dizzy Wildcrash

stuff about life

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by , 01-12-2015 at 09:03 PM (1292 Views)
this has been on my mind for a while and idk where it came from. maybe the new year but idk ok lets get into this ok
so balance. wot is this? i dont rly know tbh it came out of no where and ive been more productive than ever. this kinda sounds like a resolution but i dont make resolutions cause they arent true and i assume they never happen. i like things to come naturally to me except for when you need to put in the effort to do something which isnt really a problem for me

is this even called balance? im so confused but at the same time i like how my person is acting and functioning and i hope it doesnt change because im pretty happy right now. that isnt to say i was depressed or anything before this sense of balance entered my body but life has been easier to see or perceive you know. like, heres an example: i could be bored or busy and find something to do in an instant but before id be like wow wat 2 do. ive been playing more basketball and enjoying sports a lot more. school has become easier and ive been doing better even though i dont really feel like ive changed my work ethic or way i work. eating healthy, exercise, blah blah blah ok too much lets talk about something else ill just figure this out on my own and tbh enjoy and appreciate what i have.

so another thing on my mind was you. no not you. you. the person. reading this. consciousness. unconsciousness. pressure. what are these things? i never feel pressure to get up in front of a bunch of people. some things i cant see and this is one of them. Fear. fear is a scary subject lol see what i did there? ok not really. but back to fear - fear is something that holds people back. i tell people just do it!! whether its talking to someone, or taking a large step towards a new hobby, or doing something new, or idk doing something scary!!. fear is something i dont understand because when i overcome fears, they go away and its gone. but like it comes back when presented to you but i see it as another step in the stairs to step over. some people cant deal with this and give up hope. hope is a strong concept. psychology is such a weird and awesome kool class that i may or may not talk about in another blog.

well. i jsut typed a bunch of words so here are some questions for you some of these are in my thoughts and id like to know your opinions

How do you overcome your fears?
How do you handle pressure?
What motivates you to keep going?
Why is it so hard to be yourself?

p.s. idk how to use a ps but here i am using it ha fear #127 overcome ha
p.s.s. i think thats how you use it ok here we go!
p.s.s.s. psychology is so cool and weird and i wanna write more someday ok bye thanks for reading all this nonsense u deserve an award from mario

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  1. C.J.'s Avatar
    hi andre this is deep and i enjoyed reading about the bizarre way your mind works. i think it's hard to find someone who can react in an almost positive manner to the many pressures and fears we can face in our everyday lives. typically these feelings one of biggest mental challenges we can overcome and for you to speak of these things in such a simple but resolved manner really helps me realise how petty my problems are in comparison to the many more significant ideas that resolve around us.
    Balance??? On the outside, it seems like my life is a great balance. im achieving to a standard which i am happy with and have managed to find passion in sporting and music. the new school year starts in 15 days and my year is looking bright. i tried to set myself up for the best tuition and subjects I can possibly get, and many leadership opportunities are coming my way. And suddenly that's where it starts going downhill and all my fears and doubts come in. the life i’m living doesn’t feel real. i'm beginning to fear change. there are so many things that i'm in control of, so many challenges that i have conquered but to me it’s like i'm standing up there balancing on a sheet of glass that could crumble beneath my weight at any time. i’m afraid of failure. It’s a doubt that always lingers in the back of my mind and some days when i have had a great day in the back of my mind i wonder when my luck will turn against me and my world, the familiarity and stability will collapse around me. I guess my life isn't exactly balanced. In fact, it’s whirlwind of emotions.
    Fear and pressure don't overrun my life, but i haven’t quite come to terms with those {emotions?!}. I feel like emotions is the wrong word to use there. What am i feeling now? I’m both nervous and anticipating the new school year. My biggest fears are disappointment and failure. afraid of disappointing my peers, family and school. Afraid of not being “good enough” But then, I’m excited about the opportunities that await me. I’m excited to meet new teachers, and broaden my insight. I deal with pressure and fear by becoming apathetic. And while it is not the best way to do it, it is the only one that works for me. apathy is healthy in small doses. becoming emotionally invested in the hard work and yards but when it comes to exams and things like speaking in front of a big audience, I know that there is no need to care anymore, because I know that I have already put the work into it and whether or not it goes my way is not up to me to decide anymore. It is up to fate.
    Sry i went on a massive tangent. But pretty much fear and pressure and scary but in a strange way i appreciate them. Fear and pressure are what motivates me to keep going and idk why it is so hard to be myself i guess expectations. I donut think about that a lot though. I am who i am and i will change if i want to change.
    Updated 01-15-2015 at 05:17 AM by C.J.
  2. C.J.'s Avatar
    sorry if i donut make sense i am very tired and confused and this blog made me find out some things about myself i didn't even know. what a life